Red vs Blue: Recovery
by Namae no Nai Shoujo
Summary: A primordial being on a quest for vengeance. Some old enemies back for another round. Two AIs waiting to be free. The usual group of idiots. An organization's hidden agenda. Sierra-117. The gang's getting back together, one way or another. Post-Revelation
1. Pilot

**A/N: Salutations. This is my first fanfiction, so give me a little bit of a break, please.

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**Pilot**

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_'Dear Director,'_

Gazing across the alien landscape of a foreign planet, a lone figure stood on a balcony, enshrouded in darkness. The crisp air of midnight blew lazily about, blowing fallen leaves in the light of the planet that took up most of the night sky. Surrounding the planet were two pairs of magnificent rings, much like those of Saturn, a planet familiar to all residents of the humanity's own solar system. The figure barely moved, seemingly enjoying the peace that the night provided.

_'It has come to my attention that you are undergoing criminal investigation, issued by the Chairman, for misusing the Alpha AI.'_

Unknown to the person, several shadows moved closer towards it, revealing themselves to be people in stealth gear. The figure turned around, walking towards the double doors to the building that the balcony was located on, still not seeming to notice the people that moved closer to it.

_'After some researching, I found his allegations towards you to in fact be true.'_

The stealthy figures all pulled out assassination weapons as they crept onto the balcony, aiming for the figure as it reached the door.

_'As a former prestigious member of Project Freelancer, I find myself horrified by your actions, and I'm sure Allison would have been as well.'_

The doors slid open, but the figure paused before entering the building.

_'However, while I do wish to wipe your filth from existence, it is more important to deal with the actions that the Chairman has taken.'_

A ray of light from the planet peeked onto the figure, revealing a smirk on the person's face.

_'Not only has he sent forces to silence me,'_

As the assassins closed in to get their kill, the figure raised its hand and snapped its fingers. The other surrounding it froze for a moment, and then fell apart, as if sliced cleanly by some unseen force.

_'But he has been pitting the Freelancers against one another, even driving some of them insane.' _

The figure then walked into the building as causally as it had been going earlier, leaving the remains of the assassins outside.

_'As you should know very well, I cannot tolerate either your or the Chairman's actions.'_

Walking alone through an unlit hallway, the figure came to a lit panel, standing out in the darkness.

_'I helped you start Project Freelancer for one purpose- to help your species.'_

The figure finished reading through the message it had created, an amused scoff escaping it.

_'You two have abused my trust, my work, and the lives of both the Alpha and the Freelancers.'_

The mysterious person then grinned, displaying two rows of perfectly aligned, razor-sharp teeth, almost like that of a shark.

_'I shall deliver the Chairman and Project Freelancer their punishment.'_

It's long, delicate fingers, almost like that of a pianist, scrolled down to the bottom of the message.

_'After they has been dealt with, I shall come for you. Be prepared.' _

Pressing the button labelled "Send", the woman waited until the computer notified her that the message had been sent to it's target.

_'Farewell, old friend.' _

The message sent, the stranger walked away from the screen, humming as she strolled through the darkness. It was silent except for the sound of the tune it was humming, and that of the sound of its footsteps. As the shadows enveloped it, those noises were the only sign of itsa presence, until the humming, and then the footsteps, both faded slowly into the dark.


	2. Ep 1: Wakey Wakey, Eggs and Bakey

**A/N: Woo, first official chapter! Let's do this! All original characters and the plot are my own, and all characters from the original series Red vs. Blue are property of Roosterteeth. Oh and by the way, I don't know Spanish. So everything Lopez says will be in English, but **_**in italic**__**. So all the RvB characters will act like he's speaking Spanish, but you, the readers, will be able to understand him. Just like those captions in the episodes! But hey, if you like this fanfiction and you speak Spanish and want to translate, LET ME KNOW. I would be forever in your debt.**_

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**Episode I: Wakey Wakey, Eggs and Bakey.**

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According to the data logs of the Freelancer Project, and that of the entire UNSC military, Agent Washington was killed along with Agent Texas and Agent Maine (better known as the Meta). However, only one person had died- the Meta. In reality, he had, with the help of the Blue Team, disguised himself as Blue Team's leader. The positive side of that was the fact that he could now live without the fear of being arrested, imprisoned, or killed by Project Freelancer forces (unless he did something as the leader of Blue Team, or it was discovered that he was in fact Agent Washington). The downside was that unless he wanted to be put under investigation by Project Freelancer, he had to remain as the leader of the Blue Team. And while not having to run out to battle every morning was enjoyable, as the Red Time was comprised entirely of idiots (maybe not Lopez, but since no one ever understood him, his suggestions remain ignored), his team was comprised entirely of idiots as well. Well, not Shelia. Shelia was a tank, and he wasn't about to insult her intelligence. Not when the first person she killed on activation was the previous Blue Team leader, Church. As for Tucker and Caboose... well... they were impossible to say the least. Complete idiots, and Caboose was the worse of the two. Having to spend his days with them almost made Washington miss his cell. _Almost_.

Staring at the ceiling of his small quarters, Washington laid on his bed, covered by the thin sheet that came with all standard quarters. The room wasn't decorated at all, it's plain grey walls reflecting the blue light that softly radiated from parts of the floor and wall. Rays of sunlight came into his room through the small window on the top of his wall, signalling that it was dawn. While Wash knew that it was time for him to get up, he did not budge out of bed. Why? Because Washington knew that he would need every moment of peace before anyone else woke up and bothered him, which would happen in three... two...

"WASHINGTON!" Caboose cried, banging on the ex-Freelancer's door. Wash inwardly groaned. While Caboose was a complete idiot, he was an incredibly early riser, and since you could only get Tucker to get up before 10 without being a bitch through means only Washington could do, and Caboose hated being alone, Washington was his target for waking people up. The soldier rolled onto his side, curling up in a ball and wishing his idiot subordinate would go away. However, that wasn't an option for Caboose, as he had personally appointed Washington his second All-Time-Best-Buddy (first was for Church, and Tucker was an ass-hole to him).

"WASHINGTON!" Caboose called again, and Wash gave in. Sitting up, he ran his hand through his blond-streaked, dark hair, trying not to get a headache already. Usually it takes about ten minutes of putting up with either Caboose or Tucker before that would happen.

"I'm up, Caboose." He replied, sighing. "Give me a moment and I'll be up."

"Okay!" Caboose exclaimed, and then ran off, the sound of his footsteps getting softer and softer. Washington wanted to go back into bed and ignore the idiot, but he knew that in about seven seconds... six... Caboose would return to make sure he was actually getting up. As if on cue, the sound of him approaching the door appeared again, and then came the second round of banging.

"Washington!" The private called between banging.

"I'M UP, DAMMIT!" Washington snapped, raising his voice.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, COCKBITES!" A new voice shouted. It was Tucker, the second person that Wash had to worry about. "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"

"SORRY!" Caboose then shouted before the Freelancer managed to get in a word. "I WILL STOP THE SHOUTING now." The 'now' was dropped to a whisper. Knowing that it wasn't going to end well, Washington got out of bed, the cold metal floor against his feet waking him up instantly. Grumbling, he went to the door and pressed the button to open it. In front of the door was Caboose, in all of his idiotic glory, already dressed in his standard-issue blue armor, save his helmet. Seeing Washington, his green eyes sparkled with delight that his "Bestest-Buddy" awake.

"Washington!" He said for the fourth time that morning. "It is your turn to make breakfast." Washington nodded, walking past him and down the small hall that led to their quarters. Tucker remained in bed, as usual, and Caboose followed his leader, excited for no reason at all. If Caboose was normal, his random excitement would have bothered Wash, but Caboose was Caboose, and that was how he usually acted. The two proceeded into the cramped kitchen where they made their daily meals. The private seated himself at the table, waiting impatiently for food like a five-year-old (which he probably was when it came to mental capacity), while Washington himself opened the fridge and pulled out some eggs, bacon, and orange juice. The important part of those three was the bacon. While it's delicious fatty goodness did appeal to both Washington and Caboose, it was the only thing known to humanity that could get Tucker awake and out of bed through his own free will. Why? Because Tucker loved bacon as much as he loved ladies. Even more, perhaps. For a while, Washington had been intending to do a test in which he'd put Tucker an equal distance from some fresh bacon and an attractive woman to see which one he'd go for first, but there we no females in the Gulch, much less attractive ones.

After grabbing a pan and putting it onto the lit stove-top, Wash found some bread and put it into the toaster oven, setting the dial so the bread could turn into toast. Caboose watched the toast with great interest while his commanding officer began to lay strips of bacon into the pan, the fat sizzling as soon as it made contact with the heated metal. In a new minutes, the smell of bacon wafted through the entire Blue base. A few minutes after that, and the sound of Tucker shuffling into the kitchen could be heard. He emerged from the hallway looking still half-asleep, but awake enough to sit next to Caboose.

"I smell bacon." He stated plainly, staring at Washington with a glazed look in his eyes from sleeping. Wash sighed.

"Of course you smell bacon, Tucker," He replied testily, plating eggs and grabbing toast and bacon for said plates. "That's the only reason you're awake right now."

"Damn right, bitch," Tucker told him, taking a plate from Wash. Caboose took the other, and Wash grabbed his own, sitting down. For a moment, the three ate in silence, but that changed when Caboose decided to grab a piece of bacon from Tucker's plate. Tucker, not taking to that so well, lunged for Caboose, going for the throat. The two fell over as Tucker attempted to strangle Caboose to get his bacon back, Caboose shouting about how Tucker was a big bully who hated kittens. Sighing, Washington finished his breakfast, the headache beginning to set in. How Church survived without killing these two was something unknown to him.

"Will you guys..." Washington growled, tempted to grab his DMR and either shoot them or himself. "JUST SHUT UP AND EAT FOR ONCE!"

Oh, how Washington hated the mornings at Blue Base.

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Lopez, being a robot, did not have to sleep every night like the humans of his team did. So to him, the nights were the best time, as there was no sound of Sarge threatening Grif, Simmons whining about how no one understands him, Grif complaining about (and mocking) Sarge, and Donut making creepy comments. The mornings were the worst, though. Why? Because every single one of them was an idiot. Lopez had never seen a single day where the Red Team could get up and begin their day normally, and he doubted that day would ever come.

Standing on the roof of Red Base, the Spanish-speaking robot watched the first rays of dawn peek over the horizon. Which of course meant that in a few moments, Donut would be-

"Good morning, Lopez!" Donut's characteristically cheery voice broke the glorious silence that one filled the air. Lopez sighed.

"_Leave me alone, Donut,"_ Lopez retorted in Spanish, his depression already worsening. Many times every day he thought about going over to the Blue Team so he could be with Shelia, but a part of him felt that it was his requirement (as Sarge did create him, albeit poorly) to at least attempt to help them.

"I love puppies too!" The blond replied, smiling. Donut only took one semester of Spanish in high school, so he _thought_ he could understand Lopez. However, he was an idiot, and didn't understand anything. Nothing at all. At first, Lopez attempted to correct Donut, but not even his corrections managed to get into the Private's thick skull.

"_I hate you so much." _The robot retorted, and turned back to look at the sky. Donut, still blissfully unaware of Lopez's immense hatred of him and the rest of Red Team, went back inside the base, going to wake up the rest of Red Team.

'WAKEY WAKEY!" Donut shouted, banging on everyone's doors. Lopez refused to even look to see what was going on. Just hearing it made him miserable.

"SHUT UP!" Simmons snapped in retort, and more banging could be heard. Donut was an unusually early riser, and he loved to wake everyone else up along with him.

"It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood~" Donut replied in a sing-song voice. "A beautiful day for a neighbor~"

"MAKE HIM STOP!" Grif's voice cried over Donut's song. "PLEASE! JUST MAKE HIM STOP!"

"Private Donut!" Sarge exclaimed, his gruff voice making Lopez's skin crawl. If he had skin. "What are you doing! It's against regulation to wake up your superior officers!"

"Well," Donut replied. "I just wanted to make sure that everyone would be awake for this wonderful day!"

"SHUT UP!" Simmons told him again. "JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP!" Some banging could be heard.

"Sounds like someone is a little grumpy." Donut said. Some more banging and a crash. "Guess you're not a morning person, huh Simmons!"

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!" Simmons shouted. Lopez sighed as the sound of something being thrown and crashing into a wall could be heard. "GET THE FUCK OUT!" For a few minutes, the sounds of their shouts mixed with the noise of objects flying and crashing, and Lopez turned off his sound receptors. He was thankful for the fact the he was able to do such as a robot, or he would have probably gone insane by now and killed all the members of Red Team. After a few minutes, he quickly turned them on again to see if they were done. Nope. Muting time again. He knew usually it would take about ten minutes for the others to calm down and actually begin the day. Then, they'd get in their armor and go out to bother him. So he had about 10 more minutes before he'd have to start dealing with them. 10 more minutes of peace... of sanity...

Un-muting his sound receptors, he heard Sarge shout "Lopez! Help me pry Simmons off of Donut!" Heaving another sigh, Lopez turned around and headed into the base. There enough on the ground was Donut, tackled by Simmons, who was attempting to strangle him.

_"I fucking hate every single one of you."_ He told them, knowing that he would never be understood.

Oh, how Lopez hated mornings at the Red Base.

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A woman, dressed in a formal military uniform, strode through a well-lit, metal corridor patrolled by guards in suits of armor. She was silent, except for the click of her heels against the metal floor. Her light red hair was pulled into a simple bun, and she carried a datapad of some sort under her arm. The look in her icy green eyes showed that she was extremely annoyed at something, and the guards seem to notice as well, as they made sure to not make eye contact with the woman. Arriving at a door at the end of the hall, she opened it without knocking. Inside was an office, and at the office chair sat a man looking at some files scattered on his desk.

"Chairman," The woman said, staring at him.

"Yes, Ms. June?" He replied in a slightly British accent.

"The strike team has failed." She informed him curtly. He looked up from his papers, a shocked expression on his face.

"You're absolutely sure?" He asked. "Did any of them make it out?"

"No. But we did receive this message." She handed him the datapad that was in her arms. He took it, staring at the message that was on the screen. "Since you have had previous experience with her, we thought that you would know what it meant. The Freelancers did not say a word, despite their interrogation." His grip tightened as he read the message. It was short, quick and sweet.

_'Nice try. You lost the game.'_ Next to it was a quick sketch of an anime face sticking her tongue out at him while flipping him off.

"... that stupid _bitch_." He muttered, grabbing a handful of his hair in frustration. The redhead in front of him raised an eyebrow.

"Sir?"

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**A/N: There we go. First chapter. Sorry if it's too short for your liking. Who knew that the Chairman played the Game? If you don't know what that is, just look it up. This might seem totally random, but I was watching Riverdance: Live from Beijing when I was writing this. Them people know some fancy footwork.**


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